Whether you are engaged or in a committed relationship there are important questions that should be discussed before marriage. You may feel like you know everything about your loved one, and perhaps you do, but there is no better time to discuss details. Its important to make sure you are both on the same page and moving in the same direction.
Question 1: Do you want kids? If so, how many?
Of course this isn’t an appropriate question for the first date, but after the point of being committed to each other this question should arise if it hasn’t already. If your partner says the opposite of your desires this is a definite problem. Dont talk the other person into what you want, this could lead to resentment and disappointment. Be careful that you don’t fit your lifestyle to meet someone else’s expectactions, you don’t want to miss out! Its probably wise to discuss the number of children you would like. It’s not wise to talk someone into or out of having more children down the road. All of this may seem premature but you will be happier to have everything out on the table.
Question 2: What are your beliefs
This question is appropriate to ask on a first date. A person’s religion will affect the entire relationship, both early on and in the future. Make sure that your ideals fit each other’s. Having opposite faiths or values is another big problem. It may seem plausible that in an early relationship any differences can be met half way, but in the daily scheme of things or during a tough period in the relationship you may stand divided.
Question 3: What are your life goals?
This is the type of question that should be discussed yearly or whenever you decide as a couple. Its probably more important after you are married. If you ask this early on and the other person responds with something that doesn’t meet your plans then you have come to an obvious decision-making point.
Most people are highly opinionated and sure of themselves in these areas of life and need or want little or no persuading to do otherwise. If you find someone that has the same answers you feel in yourself the odds of a successful relationship are high. Marriages are tested and need to survive through times when things arn’t going according to plan. People change as they get older and answers to these questions may too!
